Wednesday, March 31, 2010

My eating habits

So I don't know if I told you all about this,  but lately (or for quite some time to be honest) I have had a need to eat.. constantly, I'm not craving  sweets or chocolate or anything particular, and I'm definitely not hungry , my body just tells me to eat all the time, and when I'm not eating I'm chewing gum, and I have tried to quit but its so hard I just wanna eat, from the second I wake up til I go to bed..and i couldn't figure out why?? I'm not pregnant, I'm not exercising enough for it to make wanna eat that much, I'm not hungry, I'm not unhappily in love, I'm not super miserable or anything else that i could think of that would make me wanna eat? Been thinking about it a lot lately but i just couldn't find the root of it..

But yesterday, Betsy came home with this thing that she had read or seen somewhere and that says that eating or chewing, or while chewing I should say is the only time when the body relaxes and the mind can let go of all the tensions and anxiety.. and I guess it gives you a feeling of being happy?

And that just explains it. It really is the chewing part that I'm after.. just constantly need something in my mouth (don't even go there) , because of all this anxiety that I'm constantly carrying around trying to suppress or pretend like its not there not to fall apart.

And just knowing this (I have completely decided that that is the reason so no point to argue with that)makes me feel so much better about it.
Now I'm gonna have to start to breath instead, which scares me, cause breathing connects you to your emotions and all that.. and I have worked way to hard on not to feel anything about anything right now..but i think i really have to figure it out and find another way to deal with it..

And it will be easier to stop the eating now I think..  i might go back to drinking diet coke instead.. or do you smart people have any other tips? I really need some help..

Prophylaxis?  And don't say yoga, I can't do yoga right now, I fig-git, way to stressed..

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