Depression..

Yes It's here. Woke up with my heart trying to beat its way out of my chest. Panicked when I realized Betsy had left already. In my head are all the things I have to do. HAVE to do. what do I do about them? My first instinct is to pull the covers back over my head and pretened like the day didn't start yet. Just sleep right through it. second thing is, I wanna call my mom and cry and say that I feel lonely.
I force myself out of bed and rush in to the kitchen. I start to clean the stove. The stove have to be clean before I can make coffee..
Then I make coffee at the same time as I'm writing down my grocery list, I have to get the grocery list out of my head to be able to breath, thats how it feels today. In the middle of my multi tasking I fail to close the filter holder to the coffee maker properly, the coffee runs over and I start to cry.. I clean it up and do it all over again. Then i sit down, here by my computor, And Pete jumps up in my lap. Pete is the less affectionate of the two cats I live with, He rarely seeks contact, but the when I was sick, he slept right next to me all night and all day, and now he is in my lap purring.. Animals are amazing.